Big Bully

I think Kate may be turning into a bully. Lately she has been grabbing, pulling and hitting for no apparent reason. And not just at me. It is usually directed at one child in particular. One other child who has done nothing to provoke this type of behavior other than exist.

You see, she has this friend, Tali, who is a few months younger than her. She and Tali probably see each other twice a week, either in childwatch at the gym or at playdates at our houses where they are supervised by us responsible mommies. I have never noticed any animosity or jealousy or anything else that might cause this behavior. They have always gotten along as well as two toddlers can.

But lately, every time we see Tali, Kate starts screaming, "No, Tali! No!" Today when Tali came over to our house, the first thing Kate said (shouted, actually) was, "No Tali paci boo boo!" (interpretation: Tali can't have my pacifier and Bear Bear!) Now, never mind that her pacifier and bear where safely upstairs in her crib. Kate was sure that Tali was going to get them. So when Tali started climbing up the stairs, which she always does because she has no fear and is fascinated by the stairs, Kate grabbed her shoulders and pulled her down. Later, when they were at the little table coloring, Kate walked up to Tali and tried to pull her off the chair.

This didn't just start today. Last week I noticed her grabbing and trying to pull Tali over on a few occasions. And sometimes it isn't just Tali. At gymnastics she will regularly walk up to other children and just smack them. Again, unprovoked.

The common thread seems to be that all these children are younger than her. Not necessarily smaller...Tali is the same size, if not taller. Just younger.

I don't recall Padyn behaving this way at 19 months. Maybe my memory is poor. But I don't really know what to do about it. How much can a 19 month old really understand about consequences? I can give her a time out (which I normally do) but I don't think she really gets it.

Thoughts? Is this just a phase that I can't remember or does she have bullying tendencies? Suggestions for how to respond?